Shattering Halos Read online

  I escaped his splendor by averting my stare. Still, I couldn’t avoid a glimpse of the enormous wings that swayed in facets of a pearlescent, bluish gray. Breathtaking. I heard him fold them away and waited until they were gone before I met his gaze.

  “I’m sorry, Cassiel, but I need some help.”

  He snorted as he ambled toward me. “Shocker.”

  Seamlessly, he switched into mock servility. “You called, milady? How can I be of assistance?”

  Skipping closer, he batted his eyelashes like the cartoon version of a puppy-dog. I would’ve laughed if the pressure in my chest hadn’t hurt.

  “Where do you stay?”

  “My apartment’s downtown. Why?”

  He answered himself, delighted. “Oh, caving in to her desires, is she? Hmm, that took nineteen hours. I’m losing my touch.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself, Cassiel. Let’s go.”

  The air pressure changed around us, revealing Gabriel’s disapproval.

  ****

  Situated at the top of the single, ten story high-rise downtown, his penthouse was stunning. Apart from a couple of storefronts, most of the companies I recognized were law offices and dental practices.

  Strangely, his appeared to be the only residence, and I imagined how pleased he must be with the privacy.

  As the elevator doors glided open straight into his apartment, I took in airy hallways clad in ivory-colored marble. They stretched on and on, narrowing until brought to an end by a gigantic balcony in the back.

  I walked on without asking permission. Too late I realized that the immense glass doors that gave way to the terrace comprised an entire wall of his bedroom.

  As I strode into Cassiel’s sleeping quarters, I faked detached confidence. No need to be bashful tonight with the plans I had. Gazing into the dark sky outside, I sensed him come up behind me.

  His breath tickled my temple as he let a finger steal around to trace my jaw line. A mild vibration beneath our feet warned us of Gabriel’s agitation, and Cassiel laughed quietly.

  “Anything to drink?”

  “Sure, whatever you’ve got.”

  Minutes later, he passed me a glass of champagne with a disturbingly crushed-looking strawberry drowning in its center. He leaned over my shoulder, his lips almost touching my ear. I seized the chance.

  “Can you block him out?” My question was a breath meant only for him.

  Cassiel didn’t answer, but the air instantly felt lighter. He scrutinized me with a face void of emotion.

  “What are you up to, Gaia?” Glimmering eyes narrowed as he took a sip of his drink.

  “Is he gone?” I whispered.

  “He’s not, but he can’t hear us or break past the force field to the bedroom.”

  “I have to die,” I blurted.

  Mild surprise tinted his features. “You sure about this?”

  “Yes. I know you’re full of bull, Cassiel, but I believe it’ll get Gabriel back in good standing with the Boss. He’s the best guardian…”

  “…you’ve ever had?” Cassiel finished caustically. “No contest, babe, since you’ve only ever had him. Besides, he’s not that good. Total run of the mill for a Protector.”

  He pinched a strand of my hair between his fingers and slid them down it. I shuddered a little, eliciting a soft laugh from him.

  “I’m pretty sure Gabriel will save me if he catches on to my plan, and that can’t happen. He’d be in even more trouble.”

  Cassiel’s irises brightened into a pleased crystal gold. “True. My brother’s smart—sometimes, anyway.” He rolled his eyes. “You want to know how to snap him out of his cleverness?”

  I frowned. “I guess.”

  “He’s acquiring human traits because of his feelings for you. Jealousy’s a big one.”

  “Right.” I scowled.

  His gaze flickered over my face. “Jealousy makes you lose focus, right?”

  Gabriel’s thousands of former humans. Most of them girls, I bet. Damn them all to hell and back.

  “Oh, shut up,” I snapped, and he looked puzzled.

  Shaking his head, he moved on. “Okay, here’s the deal. If you act like you came here to sleep with me, you’ve got a chance to pull this off.”

  I sent him a suspicious side-glance, and he nodded emphatically. “He’ll lose his head. I assure you.”

  “Why would I want to hurt him?”

  It was easy to lose Cassiel’s interest.

  “Whatever, babe. I’ve got stuff to do. Just saying. Gabriel’s new to jealousy, and it’s driving him crazy. When the boy kissed you at the movies? You don’t want to know. Gabriel won’t be able to concentrate on the real goal if we’re steaming it up. He won’t see past it.”

  I hesitated, and Cassiel took advantage of my mood change. Turning me around, he cupped my cheek and stared down at me.

  “You ready to do this? For Gabriel? It’ll be like ripping off a Band-Aid.”

  “I guess…” My breath caught.

  “I’m going to open the shield again. Role play, babe. This has got to be believable. Once you’re ready, tell me to block him again because you want to have sex with me.”

  My cheeks burned at the casual mention of having sex. What would Gabriel think? Still, this was all for him. Oh, God—I had no acting skills!

  Cassiel lifted the shield. I laced my arms around his neck and leaned in. He immediately pressed me into him like we were lovers. His hips pushed against mine, and I could already feel him, unyielding. My stomach bounced with heat.

  Okay, this is just wrong.

  Crap. Well—both feet first.

  “What would happen if I slept with you tonight?” I murmured. Cassiel ran with the unwritten script.

  “With the exception of all hell breaking loose, you mean, courtesy of…” An alluring laugh swallowed the remainder of his question. His acting deserved an Oscar.

  Behind him, the champagne bottle on the nightstand hovered and crashed into the wall. I jumped, but the explosion somehow made me smile too.

  Cassiel must have expected the reaction because he didn’t flinch or check the damage.

  “Can we have some privacy?” I forced out.

  “Of course, babe.” Cassiel’s bedroom voice made me suppress a whimper. He looked to the doorway. “Sorry man, don’t hold this against me.”

  The air felt free around us again. A thought seemed to amuse him, and I was glad I didn’t possess angel-mindreading skills.

  “All right. The barrier is up again. Your boyfriend can’t hear us, but he can still see us.”

  Pots and pans flew through the air at the end of a hallway, and tiles blasted off elegant kitchen counters. Cassiel’s barrier seemed to work both ways, because it all happened in absolute silence.

  “He’s upset.”

  “Yup, he’s pissed and unleashing utter destruction on my kitchen. Somebody owes me big time.”

  “Sorry, Cassiel. I really appreciate this.”

  I plopped down on the bed and rested my head on his shoulder to give the appearance of intimacy. He stifled a chuckle. “Uh-huh, cute Gaia.”

  “What?” I hissed. Cassiel didn’t reply. Instead a short, breathtaking tug melted me into his side. Warm fingertips trailed up my ribs in ways too deft to handle, causing a surprised moan to slip out.

  Crap!

  “Hey…turn down the heat…”

  “Oh, the mixed messages. So deliciously feminine.” Seduction poured from him in waves, and I was already lost—drowning in it.

  “No, no. The point is to keep this charade up so we can figure out a plan. Ease up!” And I wasn’t just reminding Cassiel.

  “We’re not having sex?” His breath danced warm down my throat.

  “Will you stop saying that already?”

  “What, sex? Us having sex?” He chuckled, enjoying the responses he drew from my stupid body.

  “Shut up—we’re faking this, Cassiel.” Why was I shivering?

  “Well Gaia, I’m not doing
much. I think you’re being a little…um, what’s the word…sensitive?” The luster in his eyes appeared as his eyelashes glided up in a fluid move.

  Mesmerizing. I didn’t need to see that. My patience and self-control were having serious problems.

  “Dude, just watch your goddamn hands and save the tricks for your harem, okay?”

  Instead of answering, he lowered us onto the bed.

  The nerve of this guy! Does he ever listen?

  “I’m on my best behavior. To be honest, I can’t get any lamer than this and still keep up appearances.”

  Cassiel’s palm snuck under my hair and cupped my neck as he ran his nose up my cheek. A light kiss brushed my temple.

  He glanced into the hallway. More cupboards were being emptied in probably earsplitting crashes. A steel teakettle ricocheted off the invisible barrier stretching across the doorway.

  “He’s getting worse by the minute,” Cassiel observed, lips curling in amusement.

  “If he’s that mad, why doesn’t he send an earthquake and destroy the electricity or something like he did at the bar?”

  Cassiel made the bed quiver with his low laughter.

  “Because you asked for this, with me. Since the guy’s whipped, he can’t say no to you. It’s hilarious.”

  My heart clotted with the familiar glob of cement. I needed to change the topic. “Where would I wake up if I died, Cassiel?”

  He shrugged, unconcerned. “What you’re doing is pretty selfless. You should get a lot pardoned. My hunch? Heaven.”

  I thought about my future. Fear slowly seeped in, and I reached for the champagne. I gulped down giant mouthfuls, emptying both of our glasses.

  “So suicide isn’t a deadly sin?” The fizz made me cough.

  “Oh, it definitely is, whenever you humans kill yourselves to escape. Are you doing this for him or for yourself?”

  Cassiel’s hand traveled down my body. He lowered me onto my side, and I earned a sexy chortle by smacking my tormentor’s hand off my butt.

  “You’re kidding, right?” My voice hitched on the words.

  “Well, when and how, babe?” he breathed, all laidback indifference. I realized that whether a person lived or died meant nothing to angels. Unless that angel was your guardian.

  “You said it’s at the gate to the Third Heaven?”

  “It might be heading to the Fourth Gate by now.”

  “So I have to hurry?”

  Cassiel gave me a firm nudge at the small of my back, leaving us flush against each other on our sides. He groaned a little at the contact, and my body wanted to…

  “Kind of—unless you don’t really care if your sacrifice helps the boyfriend,” he said.

  I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. This was sensory overload on so many accounts. I was angry with the way Cassiel abused the situation. Anxiety trickled cold at the bottom of my belly. But the layer of desire was what bothered me the most. It coiled thick as lava inside me and threatened to burn its way out.

  “Please, Cassiel. All I need is help figuring out the most inconspicuous way to die.”

  With a nimble shift of our bodies, he trapped my upper thighs around one of his, and a hot stab of desire gushed through me.

  “Is there more champagne left?” I gasped.

  “Your boyfriend smeared it on the walls if I recall correctly. But sure, I’ll just get us another bottle from the kitchen and be right back—as soon as he’s done slaying me!

  “And be prepared to step up the act after I come back. I really don’t waste time getting to the point with a female. If he isn’t suspicious already, he will be. Soon.”

  After his outburst, I didn’t think he’d go, but he immediately vanished from sight. Besides a breathtakingly rumpled appearance, Cassiel looked unscathed when he returned.

  He filled my glass to the brim, and I drank deeply before he poured a refill. I wasn’t fond of losing control, but under such extenuating circumstances, a good buzz seemed in order. This was me getting ready to throw in the towel, bite the dust, etcetera, etcetera, and with Cassiel’s capricious assistance no less.

  We stepped it up all right, and Cassiel was merciless. He took off his shirt, subjecting me to a daunting combination of rippling muscle and smooth, golden skin that I had to…move with.

  Sweet Lord, where’s my on-off switch?

  I was desperate. I wanted to shut him out, become impervious to the hard body that glided so provocatively over mine. His fingers slid expertly over my skin in ways that could have awakened a corpse.

  “Put your arms around me,” he coaxed, and my arms obeyed.

  His hand slid under my shirt, over my back, and played over my ribs. A finger slipped inside the rim of my bra while his lips and tongue burned at my neck.

  “Let’s hurry and get this over with, dammit,” I breathed. Cassiel’s only response was a smug chuckle.

  Too close now, my body had its own mind. I fought against complete surrender, but my brain was foggy. My leg flew over his hip on its own, and he let out a contented grunt.

  “See, I knew you’d like this,” he whispered through the kisses dancing up my throat. My breath was puffing out in little pants by the time he covered us with the bed’s comforter.

  Relieved, I figured the covers would save me. Now, all I had to do was stop his hands and arch away just enough from those enticing hips. Under the blankets, we could feign more intimacy than we actually shared.

  In little gasps between his steady assaults, I told him as much.

  “Gaia, Gaia. You’ve got to look real if you want this to work. Did you really think that Gabriel can’t tell the difference?”

  “I don’t know—shit!” I snarled, hating my own skin for craving more. Cassiel knew and never eased up. He breathed into my ear like a tempting demon from Hell.

  “Yeah, that’s right. Say the word, and I will rock. Your. World. You have no idea.”

  “Just…don’t! All I need, Cassiel, is for you to help me find an efficient way to die. Tonight.” Again, I worked hard to convince both of us.

  “What about my needs?” he pouted, but his hands moved slower and with less insistency.

  The champagne gradually began to numb me. I eyed the bottle on the nightstand and grabbed it. Spilling a little, I tipped it into my mouth. Yes, this should work.

  Concentrate.

  “Having a hard time, there, babe? What’s the big deal? It’s just sex.”

  There were so many ways to kill yourself if you hadn’t considered the options ahead of time. We also had to ensure that Gabriel didn’t catch on until I had…“left,” as Cassiel called it.

  “So the best way to kill me would be to…?”

  Cassiel kissed me, and I turned away just before his tongue slipped in. “Nope, babe. No killing. You’re taking your own life.”

  “Hey, but don’t you have a trick up your sleeve? Some easy way to finish me off?” I joked.

  He groaned, impatient. “You don’t think I’ve got enough attention on me as is? I’ll be there when you do whatever, but there’s no way in hell I’m providing anything that can be traced back to me.”

  Geez, this would have been easier without him.

  “There’s a pharmacy two blocks away if you need supplies,” he added, confirming my epiphany.

  “No, I’m not leaving,” I said. “You’ve got some pills? A noose?” A snicker escaped me.

  “Oh, how about a sword? Maybe a chainsaw? Babe—no. N.O. Got it?”

  Suddenly, I realized that I was trapped. I didn’t want to leave the force field to face Gabriel after hurting him like this. I had to die at my own hand within Cassiel’s shield, and the options were limited.

  Mom and Dad. Their faces fluttered through my mind, launching me into overdrive.

  Luna. Her sweet smile—I loved her so much!

  I couldn’t think about what my death would do to my family. To save Gabriel’s existence, this was the only option I had. I needed to focus on how I should have “left�
�� eighteen months ago.

  With the limitations Cassiel had imposed, we tried to find the quickest and most pain-free way.

  “You’re not rushing to get to a conclusion, are you?” I panted. Who the hell had I freely submitted to? This angel was busy keeping my body on fire and didn’t bother with a reply.

  Soon, I was too acquainted with Cassiel’s physique. My hands stayed on manic autopilot as they roamed over his back, his chest, even his behind. My heart screamed in rebellion, but my body defied it by bowing in closer.

  Cassiel didn’t seem surprised at my fervor.

  Shit, this guy’s never heard a “no.”

  In my stupor, I didn’t notice how his seriously gifted fingers removed piece after piece of clothing. I asked for another refill on the champagne, and it dulled my judgment even more.

  Finally, I fell out of his bed. “All right, I’ve got it,” I slurred. “I’m jumping off your terrace.” Considering how most of my brain cells had concentrated on getting me drunk and not having sex, it was a clever idea.

  “Simple enough. In a minute, yes?” He reached out to help me back up into his arms, but I shook my head violently. “No, now.”

  I grabbed the bedpost and pulled myself up on my feet. “It’s spinning.”

  “Uh-huh. Here, take a robe.” Cassiel suddenly stood next to me on the floor. With eyes darkening into a playful bronze, he still had the balls to withhold it long enough to give me a lingering onceover. Then, he extended the champagne-colored silk negligee to me.

  “Better if you don’t land in your underwear.”

  Of course he’d have an arsenal of ladies’ lingerie in his apartment, nothing unexpected there. His sudden thoughtfulness surprised me, though.

  “Will you clean me up?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I’ll take care of you. Unnecessary attention isn’t one of my kicks.”

  Liar.

  I slid open a window and looked down. Ten long stories to fall. I would drop hard and fast. Far below us, the street swam a little.

  I blew out a puff of air. In my mind, I knew I should be scared. This was it. I was about to jump off a roof and die. When I woke up again—if I woke up again—I would not be alive. It didn’t sound real in my head. Still, the giddy numbness of the alcohol was all I felt.